Tuesday, 15 January 2008

You think you can piss on my Picassa parade?

You might have heard therumours about my latest venture into the world of Mac applications. To my more loyal fans out there, it won't come as any surprise that I've been busy leading the development of a Mac version of my photo-management software, Picassa. After all, I have every copy of MacWorld ever printed stacked up next to my bed. I actually took a call from Steve J back some twelve months ago, when I first ditched the paleotards in search of more multi-coloured pastures. "Ed", said Jobsey, "we need your locative genuis in Cupertino. We'll give you free lunches, your own Prius and as much Apple merchandising as you can grab from the store in a 2 minute sweep. Apple needs you."

Dream on Jobsey, I'm a Google guy at heart. So meanwhile, on the other side of the Valley I've had my drones wip up a Mac version of Picassa. Its all been going swimmingly, until today, when the impossible happened. A leak - straight from the mouths of a BLG (Blue Level Googler). Incredible though it may seem, a chink has been found in our armour.

I run a tight ship and I'm damned if some Bluey is going to piss on my Picassa-parade. Within minutes, the G-Machine sprung into active. We flipped the button that sticks a whole load of "nasty content" into Duncan Riley's Google accounts - he's going to wish he'd managed his own mail server instead of using Google Apps on his domain. Right after that, we buzzed the Feds. No-one likes a spoil-sport and TechCrunch have been getting on my nerves recently - its my valley, Arrington. Get it or get out.

Back on the G-front, the source of leak was immediately identified (via the implant, of course). She's been extracted to a re-re-education camp and her ass has been busted back down to Green. I hope this will serve as a lesson to any trash hunting journalist scum-bags or loose lipped Googlers out there. I know where you live, I run the internet, you can't hide from me.

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