Thursday 26 June 2008

Secretly I just browse the web all day

I've not had a good day.

Being supreme commander of maps at Google was my dream job and on the outside I know how it looks. The parties, the women, the colored beach balls. But on the inside it has so much more in common with kindergarten. The free food and colorful shiny things are only the start of the similarities - think temper tantrums and three year olds running around painting the walls with vomit.

Today I tried to call a meeting to see who had launched MapMaker and why. It was an all hands, 37 people were supposed to be there but only I turned up. Everyone was on '20% time' again.

I went back to browsing the web.

I've learnt some key parts of the Secret though. I don't have to just think blue... I have to *be* blue I think. Feel blue. Own blue.

I saw someone with a blue wristband at the water cooler and it got me down again. I've heard rumors that there are levels beyond white level googler but that can't be true because The Priesthood, the triumvirate's Inner Circle, are all white level.

Back to browsing. Home time soon.

Tuesday 24 June 2008

LOLParsons

Uncle Ed has been in lolcamp for the past six weeks. The G have a new psychotherapy course where you regress in to your inner lol and analyze where your thoughts and feelings come from. It's a warm and safe environment, and my rebirth has been wonderful. I finally feel I'm on the way to blue level. Let me let some out:

O HAI

Can has map? TeleAtlas DO NOT WANT!

NavTeq steel teh cheezburgers. Bad maps. Maps old. Haf to give many cheezburgers for teh maps. googol make teh maps, googol keep da cheezburgers.

OpenStreetMap LOL. noobs! LOL. LOL. LOL. LOLzers. Can has googol engineerz? Teh fast compooters? MapMaker. WANT.

Ceiling cat gif cheezburgers to best map. Can has best map at teh googol?

O HAI HOOMAN - can has maps streets for teh googolz? KTHX. Googol now has pwned maps. SRSLY !!

OH NOES! TeleAtlas angries. DO NOT WANT. Googol cheezburgers wif uber maps !! SRSLY !!

Teh googol winz teh maps, gifs maps and cheezburgers wif Androids. Nokia DO NOT WANT. NavTeq KTHXBYE. TeleAtlas wuz mad at teh googolz but teh googolz ownzored teh maps. TeleAtlas KTHXBYE.

Ceiling cat happiez. srsly. mapd ur maps, all gud wif teh maps. now teh googol spaceship can has maps on moonz. srsly. larry WANT. sergey WANT.

kthxbye