Saturday, 12 January 2008

Nestoria / Freetard hookup

We own a company called nestoria and... whoa I'm getting ahead of myself. We don't own them in the traditional sense, but they're this firm that puts houses on my map service, Google Maps.

Ok back to ownership issues. They use my map tiles right. So one day soon we're going to flip the switch on adverts and there will be a flood of maccy-d logos on the maps. Now nestoria users might not like that so we have this option where they can pay me a protection fee if you will. After they pay the fee, good ol' Ed will make sure no naughty adverts get on the map. So, either way we get our dollars.

But the sweet thing is that every time someone downloads a tile... we get a whole lotta information. And information is power. And power is dollars mwahhh mwahhahahhaHAHA!

Every little tile comes back to us dripping with juicy data like when and where it was so we can see where people are browsing for property (and, um, adverts). We know what browser they're using, what town they're in. Then we cross reference it with other bits we have laying around and can find the color of their hair by the time we're done.

As if that wasn't enough, nestoria kindly make use of my Google Analytics service so we know what people are clicking on, what the monetization looks like.. the whole shebang.

This is probably all news to you but Larry had some of the nerds create Google Buy ages ago. See lots of sits do this, ok? So we know everything about every property site or kitchen utensil web reseller there is. All we do is say, Google Buy, given all this info just tell us what we should buy because baby, if that share price doesn't fly like Steve Jobs on meth in 1974 we're all out of jobs.

I can't tell you what GBuy is telling us right now (it's in maintenance after suggesting Microsoft again) but as you see we own nestoria whatever way you look at it.

Right, back to the story. These dudes think they can side-step Ed's Master Plan by using the feetard service openstreetmap. It may as well have been someone like the borg or the hippies at Yahoo, y'know, some maps with actual, er, MAPS in there. See this is the scoop! I found out that openstreetmap doesn't have maps of Truro!! When I retire, how's ol' Ed going to buy that holiday farm if he can't see any roads!!??

I bet the nestoria (what does that even mean anyway? At least my company means a big number) GBuy index is taking a dive right about now.

I really think these freetards are going to lose credibility unless they finish that map soon. I bet Vanessa three of her cats that the freetards would be a threat by 2008 so I have a lot riding on this. I told her it took OS two centuries to map a country and that was with Ed in charge for some of the time. Now with Web 2.0 everything is like, 1,000 times faster so the freetards should finish the world in about 3 weeks. With time for sleep.

But still no bloody Truro. If OS can lose credibility in 5 or 10 years, then the freetards should lose it in about a nanosecond using my 1,000x rule. I would add some data myself but it's a bit hard from the...

Sent via WiFi from the BA first class lounge at Google International Airport (we're still buying it from NASA)

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