paleo-tards to get new office

When I ran the Ordnance Survey my morning karma always dropped remembering I was surrounded by asbestos, almost like a tomb. I knew we had to move, and Parsons Village was born. We all know what happened, but now looks like my old friends are starting to listen:



The £200 million project will include about 500 new homes including Laurence Hall, a palace with grand views of the M23. Shops, doctors, the whole lot!!!

Written and submitted from Mordor, using Magic.

Look my GPS!

When I invented location back at Kingston, I knew I was on to something. After a lot of cutting and glueing, I made a video to show the unique power of my location tools:

This is just so cool, and having been using it via identical services from Vodafone and others (I remember telling them to do it), I felt privileged to use it on my travels around Gravesend in 1997.

Written and submitted from space, using the NASA uplink to the ISS.

I put the hills on the map

I was so happy to see the results of all my hard work today as I flipped the switch and released my new hill shaded maps:

My brand new iPhone came in handy as I was able to use the long first class flights to and from Dubai to hand shade each pixel on every one of my 2,837,295,482 map tiles. Back when I was designing Google's original cartography, I always wanted to add hill shading - I was the first person to invent this particular method, which uses a real paintbrush and my iPhone's touch screen to add the craftsman's touch. Its lucky for the rest of the world that Google have patented the process to ensure it can be used for the good of humanity.